


Failure

by BatmanWhoLaughss



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Father Figures, Father-Son Relationship, Fatherhood, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, Introspection, Spoilers, The Mandalorian (TV) Season 2, The Mandalorian (TV) Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:40:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27890146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatmanWhoLaughss/pseuds/BatmanWhoLaughss
Summary: When Boba Fett’s ship lifts off from Tython, Din barely registers it. He’s frozen solid, standing tall and rigid in the small space, his chest heaving in barely-restrained panic. He finds himself curling his arm, clutching reflexively at air where there should be a small, warm body peering up at him inquisitively and cooing.-----SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 14!!!
Relationships: Baby Yoda (The Mandalorian TV) & Din Djarin
Comments: 42
Kudos: 231





	Failure

**Author's Note:**

> I watched this episode this morning and my heart is still broken. I am in PAIN. Jon Favreay how DARE you do this to me  
> \---  
> This takes place before the last scene of the episode (the one with Din and Cara!) inspired by an idea from @widowsoka on twitter

When Boba Fett’s ship lifts off from Tython, Din barely registers it. He’s frozen solid, standing tall and rigid in the small space, his chest heaving in barely-restrained panic. He finds himself curling his arm, clutching reflexively at air where there should be a small, warm body peering up at him inquisitively and cooing. 

Fennec is standing in front of him, watching him intensely, but he barely registers her presence. His whole body is trembling, and he can’t stop the thoughts running through his head at a rapid-fire pace.  _ They got him. They took him. They’re going to  _ hurt _ him. It’s my fault. I failed him. I– _

Fennec’s hand on his shoulder startles him, and his eyes are wide beneath the helmet. Din feels the ship jerk _ –  _ A sign they’ve made the jump into hyperspace. “Hey,” she says. Her eyes are surprisingly sympathetic, and Din wonders if she can feel how badly he’s shaking. His arm is still reflexively reaching to cradle the small package that should be there. “We’ll get him back, Mando.” 

“What do you care,” he can’t help but growl. “This isn’t your fight.” 

Shand backs away from him, putting her hands up in surrender. “I’m not your enemy. Not anymore. And I know what it’s like to lose someone you love.” He stares in surprise. He doesn’t know much about Fennec Shand, other than what the bounty pucks had told him over the years. No one does, and he suspects that that’s by design. But her tone of voice gives him pause. Makes him think that under the hard exterior, she might genuinely care. “I don’t like hurting kids. It was the one contract I would never take, back in the day. And Boba’s true to his word _ –  _ we  _ will  _ help you get the child back.” 

Din swallows, his breaths still coming in short pants. The shaking still hasn’t ebbed. “Thanks.” he mutters after a moment. “I…”

“Just try to get some rest,” she says, moving towards the cockpit. “We’ve got a while in hyperspace.”

“Wait,” Din says, suddenly remembering something. “Head for Navarro. I have _ – _ there are people there who can help.” 

Fennec nods, before making her way up the ladder. 

And then Din is alone again. 

Well and truly alone, for the first time since this whole ordeal started. There’s no curious little baby trying to crawl into his lap, or tearing apart his ship, looking for something to play with. There’s no high-pitched laughter or soft snores above his head at night. There’s no one for him to protect. 

Din Djarin learns that he’s a father at the same moment he realizes he might never see his son again. 

His shaking is getting worse, and he shoves his hand into his pocket to clutch at the small silver ball. It’s all he has left of his home, other than the beskar spear currently resting on the wall opposite him. He thinks back to the first time the child took the bauble off of the Crest, how just one look at the tiny thing convinced him to throw everything away for a baby that he only just met. He still can’t explain it, and if you ask him what in the hells possessed him to do it, he can’t tell you. But there’s an empty feeling in his chest that’s getting worse the longer he stands here, and  _ his arms still have nothing to hold. _

The tears trail down his face under the helmet, and it’s only another moment before he  _ yells _ , throwing the tiny silver ball across the small space and sliding to the floor. His knees curl up against his chest as he cries out again, and the steady stream of  _ I failed, I failed, I failed, I couldn’t keep him safe _ is still playing on a loop in his mind.

He can’t take it anymore. He rips the Beskar off of his head and hurls it with enough force that he’s surprised it doesn’t dent the wall. He’s still sobbing, taking shaky breaths as the tears blur his vision.

He doesn’t care about the Creed. He doesn’t care about the covert or the new Mandalorians or the Jedi. He forgets about everything as he sits on the floor of Boba’s ship _ – _ everything except the bright, happy sound the kid made when Din said his real name for the first time. He stares at his own tear-streaked face reflected in the helmet’s metal, and he can’t stop the picture forming in his head. It’s Grogu, surrounded by Stormtroopers and machines and looking frantically around for someone to keep him safe. 

And even though he knows it’s forbidden, even though he knows that Boba or Fennec could walk in at any moment and see his face, Din Djarin puts his head in his hands, curls his knees further towards his chest, and sobs.


End file.
